Issue 12 Do you know how to nurture yourself ?
Most of us don't even think in terms of nurturing yourselves. We are so focused on all we have on our plate such as deadlines, demands, providing for the family, taking care of the house, coping with the pandemic etc. We usually don't attend to ourselves which can take a toll on our physical health, weight, emotional well-being, relationships, outlook on life etc. The more we neglect ourselves the greater these problems can become. Additionally, many of us were not raised to think in terms of our needs and self-nurturance.
Mindful eating does require what is called interceptive awareness. This refers to one’s ability to listen to the messages the body, mind and heart are giving us on a day-to-day, and moment to moment basis. Such information can be very helpful in caring for ourselves. This includes the body telling us it is tired, cold, hungry, aching, happy, sluggish, energized etc. For instance, “dropping into the body” is essential to assess if the body is hungry or not. With such information we can make much more informed decisions as to how much to eat, what to eat, when to stop eating etc. In this way, we are in tuned to and honoring the body. Interceptive awareness also refers to information about our feeling states such as sadness, joy, peace, stress level, frustration, fear as well as the range of thoughts we have any given day. All this information can be quite useful (to making the necessary changes) in order to nurture ourselves.
So, what does it mean to nurture ourselves? We start by bringing attention to our thoughts, feelings, moods and body sensations (messages) without judgment, or an attitude of opposition or reactivity. This willingness to just be present and to take in such information is radically different for most people. The idea is to just co-exist with what is present in this moment. In this simple act of awareness and gentle acceptance of what we perceive; we start to lessen and neutralize our stress level, and gain insight. It is with such an approach that we gain greater confidence in being able to cope with what is, and make more informed decisions.
We can start to nurture ourselves by having a gentle, kind and accepting attitude towards our experiences as opposed to reacting to what may feel uncomfortable or unacceptable. This means to co-exist with the messages the body give off, what the heart feels and the thoughts say. To bring an attitude of curiosity and kindness to ourselves does take some degree of courage. This can be accomplished step by step.
Once we have this information, we can start to make decisions which honor ourselves. The next step is to address the need. Such steps could include just stopping to take a breath or 5 minutes to meditate, going for a walk, doing yoga to stretch the body, talking with a friend, turning off the news etc. Some call this “skillful decision making” or utilizing “inner wisdom.”
You can start to practice this in little ways. If you feel slightly frustrated or annoyed with something, can you hold that feeling and related body sensations or thoughts in awareness? If just for a moment or two. In this way you are increasing a sense of presence, self-acceptance and self-love; and at the same time lessening self judgment and reactivity. It is the holding of such information in awareness without battling it, that promotes inner peace, self-nurturance and self-compassion. We all have infinite opportunities every day to pay attention in this way. If you have any thoughts or questions you would like to share, please post it on my Facebook page: Mindful Eating & Stress Management Services I would like to finish with another wonderful quote:
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” - Anais Nin
Eat Mindfully, Breathe Mindfully & Enjoy Life!
Best Regards,
Joseph Wieliczko, Psy.D.