3: A Holiday Gift for you!
A Holiday Gift for You!
During the holidays we can be quite focused on giving to others in terms of our time, gifts, concern, help etc. With these very difficult and unprecedented times, it becomes critical that we give to ourselves as well. For many of us, we do not think in terms of nurturing ourselves, we think in terms of only nurturing others.
I would like to suggest some very simple practices as outlined by Dr. Shauna Shapiro in an article she wrote called Resilience, Self-Care For Tough Times found in the magazine the Lion’s Roar. She outlines five aspects to the practice.
“Name it to tame it” This refers to labeling your emotions with a word or two. So for example, you can say “anxiety,” “fear,” “sadness” etc. When we put a label on our emotions, this allows the body to physiologically calm down. This labeling process helps to soothe the emotions, which causes the nervous system to “down regulate” and you start to feel better.
2. Welcome your emotions: If we give space to our emotions instead of trying to push them away or battle with them; we suffer less. Emotions by their very nature last a very short period of time (about 30 to 90 seconds). If we can develop tolerance and a willingness to be with our emotions, without needing to change or control them, the emotion can simmer down. Instead of fighting with our emotions, an attitude of kindness, observation and curiosity can be soothing.
3. Be kind to yourself: When we struggle with ourselves, we tend to be judgemental, unkind and hard on ourselves. Maybe we could relate to your emotions as you would a friend that needs your attention, kindness, curiosity and concern. Try treating yourself in those difficult moments as you would your child, your spouse or your friends. Also, an attitude of kindness and curiosity allows for areas of the brain involved in learning, growing and transforming to be activated. To be judgmental and hard on ourselves shuts down the areas of the brain that facilitate such growth and change.
4. Recognize our common humanity: If we could diminish our self centeredness and realize that everyone struggles from time to time with emotions, that can help. During this pandemic we are all feeling overwhelmed and scared of the uncertain future we all face. To take a deep breath and imagine everyone on the planet going through the same range of feelings and thoughts (as you do), can be quite relieving. In this way we diminish the sense of isolation we may be drawn to. Maybe you can share your concerns with others and further your sense of connection and emotional relief.
5. Practice, not perfect: The idea is to practice but not try to be perfect in your practice. Instead take little steps, repeatedly. It is the progressive accumulation of little steps that can be so beneficial. These practices are not about being perfect, they are about being who you are, as you are.
I hope these suggestions are helpful to you. They should be approached with gentleness, kindness and self-care. I wish you all a wonderful holiday season! May the coming year bring us all greater inner peace, self-compassion and joy.
Eat Mindfully, Breathe Mindfully & Enjoy Life!